Ciara was flicking late on Monday night and I spotted a programme called PlayTV on TV3. I thought it was a show about games that's on Bravo sometimes. It wasn't. It was one of those phone-in quiz shows that dominate the lower tier channels. The prize was €3oo and the challenge was to get 3 countries out of 3 jumbled words. 1 country from each word. Now, I kind of thought I knew the first one but didn't say it, Ciara got all three fairly quickly. €300 in the bank? Not a soul had rung up yet to try and answer. The presenter was asking if anyone knew the answer to please ring in and win €300. Ciara wasn't bothered to ring in but I wanted €300. After a long and frustrating search for her house phone, I was ready to win.
Firstly, I rang up and was told to dial 142 in front of the number because they need to be able to see your number in the studio. Grand. Did that. I got through and was asked a yes or no question about whether or not Paris was the capital of France. I managed to guess the answer correctly. I'm about to win €300. I'm excited. "Correct! You almost got through to the show. Please try again".
I re-dial. There must have been some mistake. I confirm that Harry Potter is not a Rockstar and then I get the following message: "That's amazing! Well done you were very close to getting through to our studio". Well done? Well fucking done?! What a scam and a half. I know I was being really naive now, but I didn't think that those shows can get away with blantantly lying to you.
The whole time I was watching before I ventured for the phone, this big bastard was saying that nobody had the answer. They had even started offering €200 for getting 2 countries. As disgust set in, he asked me to call in because no-one had gotten the answers yet. I had the answers slipping off my tongue and a broken heart. You owe me €300, J.G. Murphy. You liar.